Star Wars WTF: #3 – Death Star

Now this was a really stupid idea. It’s a big planet made out of metal. Very clever, George, very clever…

I can think of a few things wrong with this.  For a start, something that massive will have its own gravity, how would you make something strong enough? I worry about the Star Destroyers being too big, but the Death Star is a lot bigger. Surely it would we ripped apart if it ever got close enough to a planet. Which it always is, parked next to  a moon or whatever.

The Death Star: Stupid

It would really fall to pieces if  you tried to move it, which brings me to another fault: I don’t remember seeing any kind of propulsion units on the DS, I am assuming they don’t just make it next to where the Rebel base is, then dismantle it and move all the bits to where the next victims are. Light Speed? How the fuck would you ever get something that big to light speed? Quick answer: No you can’t.

What is it for? Apart from scaring the shit out of the galaxy, it seems to be nothing but a big mobile gun. So why all the troops in it? What do they do all the time? Why not just have a big space gun, and use all of the left-over metal to make a couple of dozen extra Star Destroyers. That would probably save on labour costs, too. Assuming you pay your stormtroopers.

When it is fired, the lasers form a sort of triangle which then bursts into a main laser beam. Now if you know anything about physics, you will know that light does not work like that.

This is bollocks, George, total bollocks.


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