My cup of tea tastes funny, wrong. This is very serious development, as a true Englishman I must have my cup of tea – and it must taste ok.
I’ve eliminated the culprits: the milk hasn’t gone off, I haven’t put too much milk in (I like my tea pretty strong), the mug was clean. So it must be me.
Where do I get a new tongue?
What? Why Bother? 
No, its probably not you, it’s probably just the tea bags that have been filled with all the crap swept up from the floor, and trust me, they DO still do that.
You get that from time to time though don’t you ?? Duff tea I mean. You don’t seem to do anything different, and yet it just tastes rank.
Tea is probably one of the few things I would have to kill for, if it were ever to become illegal to drink it.
Kill? It sounds a bit extreme at first, but yes, if it came to someone trying to take my tea away… Surely it would be covered under human rights legislation?